Fish Emulsion Fertilizer: Let’s Take this Outside
Among the things I miss: free tickets to hipsterish NPR events, newsroom potluck throwdowns and recapping the latest Housewives episode with this unlikely devotee.
Also: I no longer have an excuse to swing by Worm’s Way organic gardening center.
Me: What’s in it?
Him: You don’t want to know.
Here’s the official description from the website:
Derived from concentrated fish solubles that supply the natural release of essential nutrients for the development of green foliage, vigorous root systems and solid plant structure.
Fish solubles? What does that even mean?!
(I Googled it. Read the definition, if you dare.)
No matter. For the past few weeks, I’ve been christening my plants with fish emulsion fertilizer, and the peppers and bougainvilleas have never looked better.
Just one problem: It STINKS.
For days, I rifled through the kitchen, trying to get to the bottom of a mysterious funky odor. Rotten food in the garbage disposal? Nope. Poopy diaper in the garbage can? That goes without saying.
The culprit was the new fertilizer, which I’d stashed in the pantry. Oh, no no NOOOO…
Just now, I went outside and touched the bottle for a second to read the brand name on the label. Now, my fingers have that stinky fish smell. It’s that bad.
So I kicked that plastic bottle to the curb–literally. I now keep it just outside the front door, and I mix the solution using water from an outdoor faucet I discovered after living in this house for seven years.
Side note: The fertilizer bottle also reads:
For use on potted and house plants, fruits, vegetables, ornamentals and shade trees.
House plants? As in, indoors?
Don’t even think about it.